Bring Me Back To You
I don't know who God is anymore. I'm so confused and angry and bitter, playing the blame game from the smallest thing like having an ulcer to bigger things like...whatever. Somewhere along the way, I began to lose my faith and trust in Him, and my image of our loving Father is now completely distorted. Jesus loves me this I know, but can I really believe it? I hope so.
I just blamed mother for not teaching me how to make friends since young, always coming home to study or tuition and always questioning about my whereabouts. I know that's so unfair to her, but sometimes I can't help but blame someone. I even try to blame myself; was I too quiet or whatever? I don't know..and ultimately, I end up blaming God. It's getting crazy; this blame game thingy. And I'm getting so discouraged with life.
I long to run back to God. But somehow when I think of all the bad things, I can't help but feel so bitter about it and throw a temper. I long to worship Him; I used to look forward to coming back home and just worshipping Him with a guitar. It used to be a luxury; it's now a chore. Quiet time? I usually end up more discouraged than ever; no answers or harsh ones, remembering painful memories and dreading those to come, not knowing if I'm asking for the right thing.
In the midst of all these, I realised I've become so self-centred. Everything is about me, my problems and I. So here's a practical step I'll take: If you, yes YOU who's reading this, have a prayer request, drop me a message; let me pray for you. Have a problem stuck in your mind and need a listening ear? Call me; I want to share your burden. Or maybe like me, you need a refreshed heart. Let's meet up to worship the Lord. Too busy to meet up? Drop me a mail; I want to know how you are doing.
Do it. You'll help me too, as I go through this process. I want to look out for the needs of others. I hope my busyness won't disappoint you though, coz I want to treasure all the friends I have right now. Of course, I will need your precious prayers too, for this blame game to stop and to be able to run back into His arms, with nothing hindering. Nothing on this earth is able to seperate me from His unfailing love.
We've been held by His everlasting love
Held with loving kindness by His hand
We have hope for the future yet to come
Time will understand the mystery of His plan
I just blamed mother for not teaching me how to make friends since young, always coming home to study or tuition and always questioning about my whereabouts. I know that's so unfair to her, but sometimes I can't help but blame someone. I even try to blame myself; was I too quiet or whatever? I don't know..and ultimately, I end up blaming God. It's getting crazy; this blame game thingy. And I'm getting so discouraged with life.
I long to run back to God. But somehow when I think of all the bad things, I can't help but feel so bitter about it and throw a temper. I long to worship Him; I used to look forward to coming back home and just worshipping Him with a guitar. It used to be a luxury; it's now a chore. Quiet time? I usually end up more discouraged than ever; no answers or harsh ones, remembering painful memories and dreading those to come, not knowing if I'm asking for the right thing.
In the midst of all these, I realised I've become so self-centred. Everything is about me, my problems and I. So here's a practical step I'll take: If you, yes YOU who's reading this, have a prayer request, drop me a message; let me pray for you. Have a problem stuck in your mind and need a listening ear? Call me; I want to share your burden. Or maybe like me, you need a refreshed heart. Let's meet up to worship the Lord. Too busy to meet up? Drop me a mail; I want to know how you are doing.
Do it. You'll help me too, as I go through this process. I want to look out for the needs of others. I hope my busyness won't disappoint you though, coz I want to treasure all the friends I have right now. Of course, I will need your precious prayers too, for this blame game to stop and to be able to run back into His arms, with nothing hindering. Nothing on this earth is able to seperate me from His unfailing love.
We've been held by His everlasting love
Held with loving kindness by His hand
We have hope for the future yet to come
Time will understand the mystery of His plan
posted by Kevin at 9:28 PM
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