More Like You

Deep inside i always felt that when God said 'My ways are not your ways and My thoughts not your thoughts', it was simply an excuse. Like whenever something bad happens, He'll juz say MY WAYS AIN'T YOUR WAYS, than we BO WEI GONG already; no need to argue, we can't say much. We're under His strict control. We can't argue. Coz His ways are not our ways.

Until I realised that it was there to comfort us. To assure us. To promise us that He's got some ultra cool plan awaiting us. That He's fully fully in control, and that He truly wants the best for us.

And for that, I should ask all 1000 factory workers right here to stone me. But i shall forgive myself since it's my big day. And i know that's what God's grace is about.

I know Your ways are higher!!!
I know Your love is greater!!!
Show me Your ways I wanna be!!!
More like You!!!
Make me more like You!!!

A Child Was Born

I forgot I was 19. HAHAHAHA.

Happy Birthday to you Kevin Lam! The angels are singing! For you! I created you for greatness on this earth; nvm what they think; great just in my eyes and not theirs. I made you fearfully and wonderfully! I'm pleased with these 19 years you've lived; can't wait to see you in heaven! Enjoy your time there first though; u haven't seen the great future that's ahead. Love you.

Jesus

PS: Don't bring anything along ok? Everything will be provided :) Just bring along as many people as you can okie!!

Celebrate Surrender

When did the world start teaching us that surrendering was actually a sad thing? Maybe after the wars and stuff, when surrendering means giving up control, power, authority, PRIDE, riches: whatever that the world chases after. It sounds so...sad to surrender, and makes it so difficult to do. Maybe coz the world taught us to dwell on what we're gonna lose when we surrender, askin us to hold on so tightly, and not trusting in the other party.

But when God says surrender, what does He really mean?

Lord when it seems You want total control, what You really want for me is freedom. When i lose power and authority, Your power is then made perfect. When You take away something, You're just waiting to give back something better. You caused me to be broken, so that You can build me up again, into the person You made me to be. When we give up, You give back.

So God's surrender = Freedom, joy, abundant blessings, greater love, strength, hope, peace, patience, healing, faith..and whatever thats from Him...Indescribable.

Now isn't that worth celebrating?

To know the lasting joy,
Even sharing in Your pain

A Day of Chillin

The raisins here are huge: Left is my pinky, middle is typical Sun-maid raisin, and right is Vietnam's jam big raisin. OK LAH I WAS TOO BORED MAN...

We went out on Sunday and Daddy said this was their 'Chinatown'. But looks more like hardware town coz everywhere was juz metal parts:

This guy seems to be a barney fan or somethin. Nice colour choice man..HAHAHA.

Zhnged his bike...

Zhnged his..dunno wad type of vehicle man...

After that we went to some pretty cafe to chill:

This is how they serve coffee here if u go to the higher class places. Its takes years for the coffee to drip through that metal thingy. And its super thick..KOPI GAO man..

I got something to say about this. This fridge speaks a million words of God's abundance and faithfulness in our lives. Everytime we come back from grocery shopping, i'll have a super duper hard time squeezin everything inside. Think i'm gettin good at it alr hahaha. Amazing God...indescribable.

Another sign of His faithfulness is actually the customers we get. Through all these years, the customers just get bigger and bigger, and the cashflow has been running rather smoothly ever since. Great is Your faithfulness!!!!

I came here for attachment, but my real reason was sort of a retreat with God. And it was so zun coz Daddy went to US today and super heng that i'm here to help so that can get some money from the customers first..haha. Plus so many other things that i forgot..so yay..i killed many birds with one holiday:)

I'M GIVIN IT ALL TO YOU!!!

Hard of Hearing

Ok after problem of talking still got problem of hearing. I think like my physical ears, my spiritual ears has been exposed to too much 'loud' voices until it became abit damaged. It's so hard to hear the correct voice.

I've been having sleepless nights till now, and there was one particular night where i thought i heard God speaking so clearly. It reallyreally sounded like Him. It really did. Than when something happens next and it totally contradicts what i thought He just spoke, it sucks man. Feels like i got con by the Holy Spirit. I mean, why didn't He stop that voice? If it really was my own or Satan's, they surely can imitate God's voice well! And i mean really really well!! Or maybe it really was God, just that my own thoughts or Satan came to pervert and manipulate them according to my selfish desires?I dunno..up to now i still don't. And i'm scared coz what if all along i've been listening to the devil? I'm surely on my way to hell man.

But i know that Lord is mighty to save and He leads us in the way everlasting. His arm is not to short to save and He guides us in paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding; in all my ways i will acknowledge Him and He will make my paths straight. Trust Him for who He is and not what He can do. Trusting His heart. Thx for that bud.

Maybe that was a hard lesson for me. It gave me hope though, and I must say that hope is painful. Well false hope of course. Hope that is risky. I guess we should only hope in Him. He's the Rock of Ages.

...

Am i so hard to talk to? I try my best to just talk, but seems like i'm just too boring or something. Or I may even offend people. I'll just shut up then. It seems like even God has abandoned and kept His mouth shut.

I know He hasnt though. Coz there's none like Him. Sorry God. My mum rocks too.

Thank You

It's becoming a norm to go to a less developed country and talk about how we take for granted so many things and become more thankful, so i shall say WHAT i've been thankful for since i came over:

Family: I skyped with deblam and mummy lam somewhere around last week, and it's so cool coz they started quarelling. HAHAHAHA. i was smiling away. But even as i heard them quarrel, i gave thanks for this family that is so special, even the times of quarrelling. No one quarrels like the Lams, and no one talks like the Lams too. We rock man. I got a better understanding of how the Lord delights in us no matter what we're doing. Cool. And of course, for father lam too, who works his backside off over here.

Friends: Not many close ones, but the precious few have been huge blessings in my life, and I really appreciate you all coz I didn't know the true meaning of Christian fellowship till you guys came into my life. From mentor to buddy, young to old, boy to girl...ok boy and girl rather; there shouldn't be anyone in between; THANK YOU ALL.

My Wife: OK LA my guitar i mean. I miss electric man, and i can't wait to go home and start rockin for God, all alone in my room; doors locked. But I have to zhng her first, and I will coz it's time I stopped borrowing other people's wives. But it's still nice to play classical over here!

Electricity: The power here would be frequently cut, and we'll have to flee to town when we're notified beforehand. If there's a sudden blackout, it becomes pitch dark, and i realised that i even forgot some things ran on power; like i'll still try to on the lights or somethin.

Fruits: Without these, i'll be dead meat. Literally, just one piece of meat filled with meat coz meat is all i ever eat. That is, until fruits came in to my life. The mangoes here rock i gotta say, and fruits are so cheap.

Singing: Wow I never expected this one, but i realised how much i sing at home even though it isnt quite pleasant sounding, but it's for God so I don't really care. Over here, the China people can hear quite clearly coz we're under the same roof, so the only time i can really sing out loud is actually in the toilet. And it rocks. I bring in the air guitar; got special water effects somemore; and the worship concert starts. hahah k lah lame, but God dosen't think so :)

GOD: What if there was no God? I can only imagine, but i don't want. I'd rather imagine what heaven would be like. No more pain. That's nice.

Images of God

What's your image of God? We often limit who God is to our image of Him. It's so easy to see His goodness and mercy during the good times. I have to admit that during the lousier times, my image of the Lord is completely distorted. Deep inside harbours the bitterness and resentment of why things have to happen, and why He seems to be sleeping in the storm even when He can control it. He seems cruel. He seems sadistic. He seems to want tight control on every area of our lives, and critically judge any mistakes we make. He wants us to be perfect and not make any mistake, coz if we do, we'll be doomed for life and that He'll just leave us there, not bringing us back to His path for our lives. And worst of all, I forgot that He loves me.

Thankfully God is not who He is depending on how we feel. Even in the good times when we feel so happy and loved, He's even more than that. And the best part is that He knows how we feel, yet there's nothing we can do or feel to change His love. We've heard this a thousand times, but i think only 1% really gets to us.

Got this analogy from a book:
Remember when Jesus was asleep during the storm? Everyone was scared to death and were all trying to help to keep the ship afloat. Yet someone was missing. Jesus was missing. And He was SLEEPING. It seemed totally ABSURD. How could He be sleeping when the rest of the ship were on the brink of death?!? He seemed so cruel and...far.

Or is He? Does it merely show that He was totally in control? What scares us humans does not even touch Him. A rocking ship on the verge of sinking is a gentle cradle for Him. And He's TOTALLY IN CHARGE, even of the storms in our life.

For those having dark times, it's still a fact that we need the Lord. He's the only one we can trust, and without Him we can't survive. And thankfully the One whom we need is a good God, good all the time even when it dosen't feel like it. Blessed be His name, when He GIVES AND TAKES AWAY!!! It's all for His glory!!

Question your image of God and let Him show you His goodness, and we'll find comfort knowing that our God is such a loving Father. That we can always face tomorrow one more time, no matter what situation we are in. God bless.

Every time I hear Your voice
Every time I feel Your touch
Let me know that I can face tomorrow
As You walk me through my pain and sorrow
Let me know that I can face tomorrow one more time

My Vietnam Home

The office

The house we livin in

Where we're cooped up everyday

Their own "Giant". It's really a giant compared to Singapore's, and the things are much better! Surprise!

Handsome right?

Vietnam Kid..OK i was bored..

I Will Live to Love You

We sort of chose our classes for next year today. I chose marketing and international business. And i was quite happy coz the places were snapped up in ONE MIN. Thank God man. BUT THEN i asked around and i found out that a big grp from my old class, most whom i'm closer to, chose some other thing. WHAM. Just reminded me of how 'out' i was, even with my so called closer grp. Reminded me of the loneliness in school. And its gonna be weird to see them in school, coz i'll feel like a JUDAS. Feels like i PANG SEH them man. Argh but i didnt know wad.

OK. TIME TO CHANGE GLASSES. NOW LOOKING FROM GOD'S EYES:

It's a new chance to reach out to new ppl man!! Whoo!! Sometimes He juz turns sadness into excitement. A new mission. New salvations. I'm ready. I'm been slackin in my old project group; now it's time i be more proactive!And hardworking..AH. New group to lead in crusade. Wow tough year ahead.

Life's unfair yea. OH RIGHT SATAN; but didn't He say HE'S FOR US? Who can be against us? Not you. Coz You're still God's servant. Even if you don't like it. HARHAR.

That's it man. God's FOR US. He's for us and wants the best FOR US. And we were made FOR HIM. Not made to make this world happy or even satan happy. And God knows what He's doing in our lives.

Actually in the end, whatever happens dosen't really matter. Since we're just living to love Him. Since we're just living to praise Him. Nothing else matters. Throw whatever you want at me Satan. No...satan. You don't deserve a capital letter. HARHARHAR. God is FOR ME. And till I see Him face to face and grace amazing takes me home, I'll trust in Him. I'll be faithful to my Lord.

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy Lord
And with all I am my soul will bless Your name

Life's Not Fair; God is

David snatched Bathsheba away from her husband, and sent him to the battlfield to be killed. Yet God blessed David so abundantly. "God are You out of Your mind? What You doing down here??" Jacob snatched away his brother's birthright and totally con his dad, yet God blessed him abundantly.

Ok maybe i got my Bible stories wrong, but even then, some things in the world today seem totally unfair. Some people just seem to have it all. Innocent people are dying. And it's unfair why my dad has to go through the sianess when he's alone here, while some just strike lottery and shake leg at home. And most selfishly, i see what others have and complain about what i lack.

A guy goes back to his home country after a few years, and his family is waiting for him at the airport. He misses them so much and can't wait to give them a big hug. So he walks along, eagerly looking out for his family. And finally; he sees them!! He runs toward them, ready to embrace his wife and his kids. His wife gave him a BIG hug. Then he turned to his kids. They were rummaging through his luggage. " Daddy, Daddy! What did you buy for us?" He tested them and said," I got an entire set of Power Rangers for Tom and...a powerpuff girl for Jerry." Jerry was jealous, and they began fighting.

In the car, Dad said," Boys you know how much I love you both. I was so eager to see you and give u a hug and tell you how much i missed and love you. But the first thing you did was to find out WHAT I COULD GIVE YOU. And you guys didn't even say THANK YOU. What i wanted was your love! But you came to find me because of the gifts i could give you and not because you really love me."

The boys cried. What did the Father do? Nothing. He just continued loving them.

Maybe I've failed to realise that we already have the best reward of all, and that is Jesus Himself. And this reward is opened and availible to everyone. Now that's fairness. Maybe I really haven't been living for Him after all. I've forgotten that IT'S ALL ABOUT HIM. Maybe I've always been seeking Him because of what He can give me, and not because I love Him.

But what does our Father do? He just continues lovin us.

Jesus You are my Reward
To hear Your voice on that day
It's all I'm living for
Jesus You are my Reward
To see Your face on that day
It's all I'm living for

Life's unfair? Think again.

Take Heart

2 Cor 12:8 " Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me."

Three times Paul asked God to remove a mysterious thorn in his flesh. Whatever the affliction, Paul stresses that God has declined to remove the thorn-despite all his prayers for relief-in order to teach him a lesson about humility, grace and dependence. I guess i forgot all about character building when i came over, and kept asking for the thorn to be removed.

v10: That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I'll walk through the fire if You want me to.

I don't mind if you laugh
And call me a loser
Coz He's all I need

The World Hates Us

That's something we gotta live with. And Satan is building up his army. I see comments on YouTube that are so against Christianity. Comments that are so negative and always trying to attack us. Than i see the comments about the the heavy metal stuff (ok i confessed alr), and everyone seems to have nothing against it. They like evil. And they want to be evil. So much hatred against Christians. I read of the genocide against Armenian Christians. I hear good Christians getting martyed. Just like what a great buddy said, this world is indeed getting more corrupted. It's getting darker. And it's starting to pull some of us over. There's even hatred between Christians. Over petty things. Satan's gotta be smiling at that.

So what can we do when the world's getting darker? What can we do when everyone is lost, and blinded by evil?

We just have the opportunity to shine brighter.

So what if Satan is building his army? God has His own too. Even though He dosen't really need one. Coz He'll woop them all out with His pinky. One strand of His hair will send them fleein. Satan is UNDER OUR FEET.

Haha that day i was on the way back from town and we were squeezed into a van. In my mind i tried to hold back the grumblings, but it was simply too hot and stuffy and squeezy. Then, suddenly for some reason, i imagined that the van was sending me to some shooting ground to be executed (think Sook Ching Massacre).

If it really was a trip to death, would I continue to complain and grumble and dwell in the sadness that I was going to die? Or would I use up every last minute of my life to share the gospel with them and proclaim that we were truly going to live eternally?

I hope I'll choose the second one. Coz i knew Jesus did. Even on the cross, He brought along a sinner with Him to eternal life. And even on the cross, there was hatred by the other guy. He must be burning real bad now.

I love Africa. HAHA. I've got a heart for the people there, and someday, Rudy and I, and our wives and kids will be there, sharing the gospel. HAHAHAHA.

Jesus You are my Reward
To see Your face on that day
It's all I'm living for

Enjoyin the Main Course?

There are some days where we all wake up with a terrible dread looming over us. Everything that's ahead just seems so..dull. Absolutely nothing to look forward to except lessons, homework, scoldings, nightmares coming true etc. Sometimes we'd just wished we could go straight to heaven without going through earth. But then, I don't think God created us to be on earth to dread every single day. There's MORE TO LIFE. Let's enjoy the main course anyway, before we head for the dessert.

A man visited a restaurent because he heard about the wonderful dessert that this world renowned chef makes. So he heads down happily to the restaurent, eagerly wanting to try the dessert even before having the main course. So he orders just that. However, the waiter told him that it would be better if he ordered this particular special main course that went with it. He claimed that the dessert would taste so much better after tasting the main dish. It complemented each other. The dessert could be so much more enjoyable, although it would still be delicious when eaten just by itself.

The main dish, though, needed an acquired taste in order to be enjoyed. People had to 'find' the sweetness and joy in tasting it. They had to 'find' the goodness in it and not dwell on the awful taste, and those who are able to would find it extremly rewarding.

The man was extremly reluctant. But in the end, he recognised that it was the same chef after all. It was the same chef who created both the main dish and the dessert. If his dessert was so good, the main dish surely should be quite delicious too; of course only if he follows the 'instructions' of the chef when eating it. He therefore decided to trust the chef and order both. It was heavenly.

Father, I want to appreciate my time on earth right now, because i know that it is preparing me for a wonderful time in heaven. I know that our lives down here are not wasted and that we are not living for the sake of it. I know that You are just preparing us for a greater time in heaven, where we will see You face to face. I know that if i follow your guide, the Living Word, to live on this earth, I will be filled with peace and joy. I will be filled with the fruits of the Spirit. And I would enjoy my stay here on earth. And we look forward to the day when we meet You. The day You will say to us,"Well done good and fathful servants!" We celebrate our time here, and look forward to a bigger one up there. See you soon Father.
In Jesus' most precious name, Amen.

Fill me up,
Coz all I really want is more of You

Day Of Defeat

Hands-up. I surrender. Crap i sort of lost the mind-battle to Satan today. Nvm just for today; my God has set me free and victorious.

Firstly, confession. I sort of went back to the heavy metal abit on youtube. I wanted to just see how pro the new guitar talent Alexi Laiho was. Shucks why do all the best and my fav players play heavy metal?!? Ok i guess its not that; i guess i still love rock music. But God gently brought me out of it, and He still is. I guess rock music's got a new meaning in my life now..i'm rockin for Jesus man:) No one, i repeat, no one has seen me rockin out in my room when the doors are locked and i'm just playin for Him. Pure rockin worship. Haha headbangin worship...ok shan't go on.

After that I felt so empty again. I lost focus, and than i started thinkin bout life again. I went back to the lies of how sad my life is. I feel that I've been practically a loner my whole life, living in my own world. I regretted not building true friendships. I still can't love myself; my personality and the fact that I find it so hard to express myself. I guess thats why it's so hard for me to get out of depression. Basically, I feel I've got no life man.

Kevin Lam. It's time to snap back. That's the old childish you. Say byebye.

Byebye. HAHA. I say i've got no life. But in the first place, what's life? My life is Jesus, and i need nothin else. He's all i need. Only He can satisfy. When it's meaningless, meaningless, meaningless...everything under the sun becoming meaningless; Jesus brought purpose into my life.

I know that this is quite bad, but frankly speaking, I don't want to do what my dad is doing right now. It's so depressing man. He's all alone here when we're in Singapore; the rest are all China people. The office everything just looks depressing; no decoration whatsoever except for a world map and some lizards. On weekends, he goes to town and there's nothin much to do. And the worse thing? CAN'T GO TO CHURCH. He can hardly join his pcg in Singapore.

I'm amazed sometimes, at how he can tahan it. I always asks him that. I always ask what drives him. He says it's us. MAN. A glimpse of our heavenly Father's love? Just look at your earthly one.

Still, I won't want to be in a job that I dread everyday. I don't want to do something because I have to. Becaused I'm forced to. I wanna do somethin that is meaningful. That glorifies His name.

Few months back I saw a video of Sonicflood on youtube (again?!?), and it showed them in some developing country, doing missions. In the day, they were doing normal mission work, helping out the poor and stuff. At night? BANG. WOW. They do their shows and concerts, all worshipping together as one. Haha i just dunno how to express, but in my mind I went," That's it man. That's my dream." Haha my dream future name card would be somethin like this:

Company of the Holy Spirit

Kevin Lam Jian Ming

Servant of God/Lead guitarist

We specialise in savings souls and bringing good music to them.

Address: Blk 77 Heaven Road

(ER...) Goodluck Garden...HAHAHA

Alright i'll stop this lameness. Haha i guess in e end, God may not give me that. He'll just give something better. And even more meaningful. Not what I want, but what He wants for me. Maybe helping those who are in depression? i dunno..i really wanna help them too. And i guess i'll start by lookin out. Yup but no one can fathom His ways. Afterall, who has ever been spot-on in predicting His ways?

Yup as of now, thats what i would like on my name card. What about you?

Be the fire in my heart

Be the wind in these sails

Be the reason that I live

Jesus, Jesus

Jesus, be the centre

Be my source, be my light, Jesus

Jesus, be the centre

Be my hope, be my song, Jesus

Glimpses of Vietnam

What can i say? The Wonder-Bikers

The factory

Just outside the factory


This guy quite sad. Whole day eatin..


Typical road side stall

Bike infested road

Their very own Macs

Some band at some restaurent

Vietnam Kid

Vietnam Kids

Vietnam Kids

HAHA no la..this 2 can find in Singapore...

Contented?

I'm typin this at 6am exactly, Singapore time. That means 5 am downhere!! Lately i'll get up in the night and not get back to sleep, and this time i went back to my typical severe bouts of comparison (which usually leads to depression) and i just felt like putting down what God showed me.

Heckscher-Ohlin model (Factor-endowment theory):
Relative endowments of the factors of production (land, labor, and capital) determine a country's comparative advantage.
A country where capital and land are abundant but labor is scarce will have comparative advantage in goods that require lots of capital and land, but little labor.

Haha basically it means countries would usually have an advantage over certain industries depnding on what resources they are naturally blessed with. China certainly has an advantage in labour-intensive industries coz of their massive population right? Hence, in utopia, every country should concentrate and focus on what it already has and build up its comparative advantage so that in the end, all countries would benefit from each other since all would specialise in one product.

But when countries start to yearn for what other countries have, evil desires follow. Envy. Jealousy. Anger and bitterness. Wars erupt. Countries fight over resources, arguing what belongs to who. Who suffers in the end? Both. And usually the rest of the world. Because countries are interdependent. They need each other. They affect each other. Like family.

I wonder what the world would be like if each country focused on building up their comparative advantage from the start. Instead of fighting over resources, the same effort and time could have been used for building up their own industries. And the true beauty comes when, in the long run, industries prosper and economies grow. Nations trade and all will benefit. Free trade agreements appear and taxes are lowered. Countries grow together in unity.

If only all would visualise on what they would become and focus on working towards that rather than dwell on their shortcomings or lack of resources.

As i was typing this, painful thoughts shot back. 2006 was certainly one of the most difficult years for myself, and if there was one thing i came to Vietnam for, its healing. And its hard to share it with people. There were times of tears in the night, when no one knew; no one but the Lord. Looking at the lives of others and the blessings they get, i always lose focus and let the devil get a foothold. I see what people get but i don't, not only in terms of talents, but rewards and blessings too. And i start to question God. But that was what Job did, until God answered Him till He CUI. Totally. God sees things differently.

It's time to focus and be faithful in what you already have, Kevin Lam. Even when's there's pain in seeing others get what u want, the beauty of the future He has in store for you is far greater than anything right now. No eye has seen, no ear has heard. Be contented with what you got now!

I'M MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR YOU. Just trust me.

I will Lord.

Alright won't get too emo. HAHA anti-climax. Yup but i'll go back to Singapore a fresh person. Coz He heals the broken-hearted and gives them new life. I AM FREE.

It's still the same song.

Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
How You love me

Happier post shld be comin up next! Pictures!!! Of wonder-bikes...HAHAHA

God bless you.

Wonder-bikes

We went downtown today, and i sat in front of the van for the first time. I think there where chest pains once in a while. It was like a roller coaster man. The driver..he's the MAN..I'm gonna drive liddat man..haha i think if he drives in Singapore, the traffic police also give up on him.

I think over here in Vietnam, the HORN serves another purpose. Its not to warn people of dangers, as driving theory book says; its not for drivers to scold others, as Singaporeans usually do.

It's a GREETING.

Almost every single bike that's in front of us will get this wonderful greeting. And it's given in generous amounts. But it's a one way greeting for some reason. Once in a while though, these huge trucks will give a bigger one; those that horn-already-fly-backwards-ah. I think they seriously ZHNG-ED their horns man.

Than there are those who fully utilise their bike in ways u can't imagine. No idea how they balance. They are PROS man. Seriously. Some will have entire families on it. Some have their MAMA shop on it. Some have mountains of barang on it, till it covers even their faces. Its like a windscreen you know, just that it ain't transparent. I wonder how they see. Some have sort of super long poles of metal or sugar cane thingy on it. HA i think everytime they turn they have to check blindspot 10 times, if not those things would just whack quite a few heads in one turn.

And today, one of these long-pole guys dashed across this small junction. This caused the bike in front of us to jam brake. Unfortunately, our van must have suffered quite a bit and wasn't so responsive. And we couldn't stop on time. And we managed to give a nice little KISS to the backside of the bike in front. HAHA. That guy got a nice little shock man. But i think its normal for them la.

Need your prayers for the killer roads here! God's faithful so far, and will always be. Weekends are here, and we'll most prob go out. I'll see if i can take pics of these wonder-bikes, and it'll open you to a whole new world of what a motorcycle can do. Maybe i exaggerated abit lar, but..they still rock man i tell ya.

I hope youth alpha went well, and hope to hear from anyone soon! Pray that some will be saved today! Hallelujah :)

When Love Isn't Reciprocated

It's painful. It hurts so bad. You'd wished it never happened. You'd wished it's just a dream. Nah i'm not just talkin bout romantic love or whatever, though i think that'll hurt even more, but also friendship and brothers and sisters that kinda love. And its worse if that love is transferred to something else or someone else. It's heart wrenching:(

I wonder how God feels when we do that to Him. His love for us is soooooo much more, and i think it hurts soooooo much more too. When He said that He's a jealous God, He's not being petty or sadistic or whatever man; He's just lovin us:) But when we don't keep Him as our first love, He continues to love us unconditionally. Can you imagine how tiring that is for us humans? When someone hurts you time and again, and to try and love that person still...MAN..i think it'll wear out after a while. But He is God. His love is unfailing; everlasting.

Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
Lord I'm amazed by You
How You love me

My Hope and Healer

Thank You Max Lucado for this story. Thank You God for Max Lucado. Hehe i zhng abit though..

Typical ship-lost-at sea setting. It's pitch dark, and a crazy storm is threatening to smash the ship to pieces. It feels like it can't hold on anymore. It has suffered damages from the waves before; waves that caused many deep wounds; damages that seemed impossible to be repaired. Waves that have hurt the ship so badly. Yet it looks like there are many more ahead. And it seems like there's no way out.

Yet in the midst of it there's hope. The sailors see a shining light ahead. A faint light which is their only hope. It is the one and only way left. There's no other way for them out of it except this light. There are ships passing by once in a while, but they too, are struggling in the storm.

The sailors are determined to reach the coast. And they fix their sights on that small flicker of light. Their only hope. They don't focus on other ships. They certainly don't fix their eyes on the waves. They focus on that small light and move in that direction. They ride through the waves. Waves that have already hurt the ship: it simply has to move on. The sailors call for help, and fortunately, a helicopter comes along. It guides the ship to shore. And the sailors, though now with the help of the helicopter, still has to persevere and continue to focus on the LIGHT.

Finally it reaches. And there, the ship is repaired. It finds healing. The wounds are filled and fuel is replenished. There is restoration. And the ship is now better equipped to face these storms in future. It becomes stronger. And not only that; the ship is now better equipped to help other ships in future. It knows what its like. It understands what it's like. And it can help them to focus back on the LIGHT. It can turn them back to the one and only hope. It can teach the rest to call for help if they don't know how to.

Lord send Your Holy Spirit to bring comfort and help to those who are hurting. Bring them back to You. Turn their eyes unto You. Help them not to dwell on the hurts and wounds of the past and even those that are ahead, but help them to look upon Your face, our LIGHT and SALVATION. Bring healing and restoration Lord; You are our Healer. Help us to look ahead and move on into the wonderful hope and future in store. You are our Hiding Place. You are our Strong Tower.

Strong Tower by Newsboys

strong and mighty
strong to save us
like a fortress never failing
strong in battle
strong in kindness
when we stray, Lord
You're strong to find us

when the winds come hard against us
You are steadfast, You are true
when the ground beneath us trembles
Your foundation never moves

CHORUS
strong tower
high and glorious
strong tower mighty in love
our refuge our defender
strong tower Lord above

strong to lead us
through the shadows
strong to carry all our sorrows

when the enemy surrounds us
closing in as darkness falls
though his armies rage against us they can never scale these walls

- CHORUS -

BRIDGE
You are my shelter, my shield
You are the home I could never deserve
here I will serve, ever under Your gaze
here I will serve, ever singing Your praise

I need back my cd from Don. Its been more than year..HAHA.

God bless. May you find hope and healing in Him.

When God Writes Your Life Story

Imagine a pen a paper. Whatever is written on e paper usin that pen would determine your life.

God has actually finished writing down our stories even before the earth was created (wah quite zai ah..so many leh). He wrote down the trials, temptations, good times, bad times, times of joy and times of weeping. And all these stories had one common ending: Heaven. And He's pleased with all the essays He's written. He sees the happy ending and sees it in a different way than we do. And they were all planned perfectly to prepare us for our final happy destination.

Lord, I'm sorry for the times i've tried to snatch that pen away from You. I know that I've only seen part of the story. Sorry for the times that i've tried to write my own endings, and not trust that You already have a better one in store for me. Help me to see that sometimes the pain is worth the gain, and to not dwell in it but to look at the wonderful hope and future that You have written. It cannot compare to what You have in store. I surrender all to You. I'll trust in You. When all is said and done, and everyone is gone, Lord You're really all I want.

What happens when we make stupid mistakes? Hehe...there's still the eraser :) Brand of it is GRACE. And it's extremly durable. Infinitely i should say. Buy one get 10 million free.

When God writes your love story? Indescribable.

Indescribable, Uncontainable
You've seen the depths of my heart
And You love me the same
You are amazing God

Ramblings from Vietnam

Wow those posts were a year ago man, and I realise how dumb i sound..haha kiddin..yup those were for a computer module i did in year..1?haha and after one yr or so, i decided i shld come back here and not waste my precious creation: A BLOG.

I knew that when i came over to Vietnam, it would be a great, refreshing time with God, coz everythin's slower and stuff. I also knew that not everyday would be a nice one, and the problems and sian-days would soon pop up. But i didnt know it would be that quick.

Its been a week alr, and from the start I felt a little lost and useless, coz everyone here's so super busy and they don't really have time to teach me this and that. I try to helpout my dad here and there, but for some reason being the blur person i am, he could have done all e work by himself in a quarter of the time i take to just UNDERSTAND. Not even fully; maybe about half? Yup so sometimes i feel so bad coz he's got enough problems to handle, and here i am botherin him. But i guess slowly i learnt how to SLACK; can u believe it, its so boring sometimes i gotta learn how to slack, and slack online, but i got a big problem with lookin at computer screens the whole day, so i think by the time i get back to Singapore, my panda eyes would require some kinda make-up. Yup guess i'm still adjusting to it, but the next thing cant really get used to..writing the dumb REPORT.

I feel so sad for those who got posted to companies who would just ask them to tear paper, sweep the floor, all the sai-gang etc. WHAT THE CRAP ARE THEY GONNA WRITE IN THE REPORT MAN?!? I feel that poly does stupid things sometimes, but i myself aint smart either, so who am i to judge? Just opinions... Since i came over, this was one piece of crap buggin me all e time, like what to write for the report and stuff. Maybe this caused me to start with the mentality of wanting to learn and do only what would help in my report, and not learn actively and be motivated because i should. So when i have i nothin to do, i start worrying..and sometimes i feel so dumb and childish..why get upset over a small thing??? This piece of crap would be nothin when i see my Saviour man :)

This makes me wonder sometimes if it is really my fault if I don't like business and when i'm not motivated to learn at all. I mean if I have an internship with Hillsongs or Planetshakers you think i wouldn't wanna learn? To be on the safe side, i figured out some attitude problems today:
1) LAZINESS; true laziness, at its purest
2) as i said, doing everything that would only benefit the report and ignoring the rest
3) don't-like-than-don't-learn attitude

The last one makes me wonder bout my future job man..coz i don't seem to like anything at all, except the guitar stuff and full-time ministry?!? Maybe the Ferraris and Lambos?!? How worldly i still am...Yup so the future looks bleak, but maybe i shld open my eyes more and i guess still not mature enough yet la huh..i'll juz trust in Him.

Wow that was a niice explosion..guess those were building up over the past week, and i didnt really realise and feel it yet till today, since nothin was gettin better, so i had to come here and let go. Let me just say that the good times and the goodness of God has been so much more and better than what i've said up there, coz its just so refreshin to come here and find rest in Him. I have so much more time to read and just dwell in His presence, the pure beauty and simplicity of worshipping without a guitar, even though i brought over one. And i found a shop which sells guitars, and i tried one which was really quite unique man. It couldnt stay in tune however, but its quite cheap man, so i may buy it! Or shld i be faithful..HAHA

Through their ups and downs, David and the other Psalmists were frank in their writings and turned first to the Lord, nothin holdin them back. They just let out whatever they felt and were sincere and honest to e Lord, and we know God blessed David greatly after his trial. How cool la..i read somewhere that all the great men of the Lord, Martin Luther etc were mostly brutally honest in their ramblings to the Lord in their bad times, and i guess its because they truly recognised that they were not perfect and that God already knows whats goin on in their minds. Whats the point of saying this? I dunno. I forgot. hahaha thats how my mind works man, and its hard to understand me, but God does and its all that matters. But i'm really grateful to my family and frens who do.

Thank you all for your prayers. They're precious gems to God and I. Miss u all back there :) God bless